After hearing the number of drugs Justin Bieber was taking, it’s incredible that he’s still alive. Hailey Baldwin even said he had to ditch them before they could be together.

“There was a time when I was sipping lean, popping pills, doing Molly, shrooms, everything,” says Justin Bieber, 25, in an episode of his YouTube docuseries, jusdyin bieber: Seasons. In the episode entitled “The Dark Season,” Justin opened up about his past drug use and his struggles to regain his sobriety. “It was just an escape for me. I was young – like everybody in the industry and people in the world who experiment .. [I did] normal, ‘growing-up’ things. But, my experience was in front of cameras, and I had a different level of exposure. I had a lot of money and a lot of things, so then you have all these people around me hanging on and wanting stuff from me, knowing I was living this lifestyle that they also wanted to live.”

Ultimately, the drug use got to a breaking point. “I decided to stop because [because] I was like, dying,” he said. “My security was coming into the room at night to check by pulse . People don’t know how serious it got. It was legit crazy-scary. I was waking up in the morning, and the first thing I was doing was popping pills and smoking a blunt and starting my day. It just got scary.” Justin also had another incentive to ditch the drugs and alcohol – besides saving his own life – and her name is Hailey Baldwin. Justin’s would-be-wife said in the episode that she wouldn’t get involved with him “until he chose to get sober.”
Thankfully, that was enough of a wakeup call for Biebs. The rest of “The Dark Season” deals with Justin’s road back to sobriety, and the speedbump that came in 2019. That year, Justin underwent a series of tests to discover he had contracted Epstein-Barr, a virus linked to mono, and Lyme Disease. “I’ve abused my body in the past, and now I’m just in the recovery process,” Justin says in the episode. “I’m committed to getting better because I know ultimately being the best ‘me’ is going to help me be the best husband, the best father, the best friend I can possibly be. And for all the fans that want to enjoy the music that I make. I can’t do it if I’m not healthy, and I haven’t been healthy for a long time.”

“Sometimes when life throws you things you can’t control, your natural attitude is to be upset or to be disappointed or discouraged,” says Justin, reflecting on his life up to this point. In addition to his battles with addiction and his recent health issues, “The Dark Season” also discussed Justin’s well-documented struggles with anxiety and depression. Though things get “dark” for Justin, he offers a light to others going through their own pain. “When you fight through those feelings, that are just feelings at the end of the day, and you choose to put your effort into your work or into your passion.”